Wheeeew what a day today was. This whole week has been a blur of depression anxiety ptsd etc…but today just when my depression is starting its upswing and my suicidal thoughts are becoming more passive, I had my intake evaluation for an IOP (intensive outpatient program) at the Acute Partial Hospital. There was so much […]

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I’m in an alanon meeting right now and the topic for tonight’s meeting is commitment and I realize I have a problem with commitment. I always throw myself into everything full force and then give up after a short time….look how rarely I post here anymore. Anyways, I find it funny that the only thing […]

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156 dark post, beware

trigger warning; suicide/suicidal thoughts/self harm/violence/graphic   it has been a while since my mind went to this dark place. the meds have been working tremendously! today however, my mood got the better of me.  first let me say i’m ok, i’m safe and doing better at the moment. have you ever been so overloaded with […]

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154 a few of my poems

I wrote most of these around 2013/2014 I was good enough to ruin,not good enough to raise. You played my emotions like a fiddleyou should’ve stayed away when i was littlewhat you did was not oki still struggle till this dayblaming me was low, especially back thenyou crossed a line that shouldnt have beeni know […]

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the movie that started it all!

it’s on! the movie that began this whole blogging journey! the wonderful “Julie & Julia” oh how I love this movie. I think it’s Meryl Streep, i’m drawn to her in whatever she is playing in no matter how good or bad the movie may actually be. anyway, i’m sitting here just in aw of […]

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Monday night bowling BS!

tonight is league night for Oliver. I want him to have a good time and enjoy the time with him friends, but both boys came with us tonight which means nothing but fighting and fighting and more fighting, Ophion has wanted to come for a couple weeks but I kept putting it off because I […]

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Approaching normalcy?

This week has been a tough one. We are having small financial issues due to my inability to follow through on deadlines, and we are feeling that stress as a family unit right now. On top of that, my psych terminated me as a patient due to the inability to make it to any appointments […]

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