297 trigger warning suicidal thoughts

More and more I’m seeing the blade glide and the pool of blood like I’m floating above my body looking down.

He came home drunk from golf yesterday and since he said he planned on drinking more at the bowling alley I decided not to go. He came home puking his guts out and since I’m not supposed to do things he can do for himself, according to al-anon, I refuse to empty the bucket he was getting sick in. He wants it emptied he can do it himself.

I wanted to go to the 8pm meeting tonight but I missed it so I’m stuck going to the 11pm meeting even though the depression has me utterly exhausted.

Think ill call my therapist tomorrow even though she may want me to go to the hospital….idk if I’m prepared for that. I’ve never been on a psychiatric hold but I feel it may be more and more necessary.

Well, I have some research to do…..until next time

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