165…I’ve figured it out

I’ve figured it out. The last couple weeks or so I’ve had all the signs that are typical for me, loss of interest, change in sleeping patterns, zoning out, irritability, suicidal thoughts, fatigue, feeling worthless etc. Then today it hit me full on.

Depression is such a miserable bitch. I’ve already cried twice today and its barely 10am and I’ve only been up since around 8am.

A song made me cry and a fb comment on someone else’s Facebook made me cry. Who does that?!?

The Facebook comment said “I miss the shit outta you” and I lost it. I wish I had a friend who felt that way about me. Its so lonely being me that the only interaction I have outside of my family is reading strangers blogs on here.

I’m perfectly aware of how pathetic, whiney, and desperate I sound but its how I feel and if I can’t say how I feel on here, where can I?!

As I sit here typing the will to finish this post is even slipping away. I just want to curl up in a ball and get lost in mindless tv or something.

I have so much to do to prepare for mommy and Bee’s arrival but I want no part of it today guess I can start tomorrow.

I gotta stop here

Until next time

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