this entry may have more typos than normally because I am typing in public, with my screen as dim as possible and the font size as small as possible to avoid people being able to read over my shoulder. I may come back at another time to fix it….if I read this later and I don’t think the typos are to miserable then I may leave them all there.
Today started with a slight upset. I wake up early on Thursdays so I can watch the episode of my show that aired the night before, well I didn’t realize that this was a by-week and the show didn’t air this week. So I was slightly heart broken but got to catch up on another show that I am behind on. I got the kids ready for school and cooked breakfast as per usual. Oliver got Ophion off to school then came home to eat, shower, and go golfing…. I took Ollie to the bus stop. I came home and have been keeping a close eye on Opal to make sure that she doesn’t get another cramp. She was kinda just laying around so I took the opportunity to watch a couple episodes of the originals.
I’m still eating everything in sight. I think before 11am I had 3 full meals and 10 pieces of Halloween candy. so I need to start figuring out how to avoid that, or at least make the choices better for me.
I was bored and no one was home to engage in conversation with so I decided to take a nap. I got a couple hours in before I had to get up so I was able to go with Oliver if he needed me to get Ophion from school with him. He got home in plenty of time so he went to get Ophion while I started to get ready to go to the bowling alley that he bowls his league in on Thursday nights. He brought home Ophion and he was telling me that he is still having some issues with one of the bullies he is facing this year. Every year he has at least one person who has a problem with him…this year it is 2 kids, one of which was a friend of his in previous years. (
Going off on a tangent here, stay with me for a bit) we recently had parent teacher conferences at which one of his teachers, a male said he wishes Ophion would stand his ground a little bit against these kids. He’s already keeping an eye on them because they are trouble makers in general but he is aware of the problems Ophion is having with them as well. He said if Ophion just stood his ground a little bit then they would probably back down considering his size vs theirs. Ophion is taller than I am and that means he stands about 5 foot 7, he’s probably close to if not past 180lbs, so he is a big boy, and these kids, well the one that I know, is a tiny little thing, I mean he’s probably smaller than Ollie is. (see previous blog post to see a picture of Ophion and Ollie side by side to gauge height difference)The teacher just feels that with his size they would back down. Ophion is too worried about getting in trouble to stand up for himself. Ok back to the day.
I then went to go get Ollie rom the bus stop came home got Opal to eat a little bit then gathered everything for the bowling alley. We had to stop at a no her bowling alley because Oliver had to go to the pro shop and have a couple of his bowling balls worked on. After that we shot over the bowling alley in which I am currently sitting and writing this.
Ive Noticed when we are in this bowling alley my mind starts to go to a dark place. Idk if it is the people we are around, (who I love and constantly make me laugh) or the atmosphere….but I always go dark sitting here. I guess I kinda feel abandoned in a way, everyone is having a good time and laughing and enjoying themselves and they don’t seem to notice if I join in or not. I feel invisible which sounds like I’m whining but I’m not trying to. It hurts to know that my presence can be ignored so easily….now idk if it is my mind telling me that or if that’s how it is but it feels pretty damn real and even more painful.
I can’t skip coming here because then I have to worry about Oliver drinking.. I know I’ve not mentioned it yet since starting this blog, but he is a “recovering alcoholic” I put that in parentheses because he’s not recovering, he not trying to recover, he just doesn’t believe he is as bad as he use to be because he isn’t fall down drunk every time he drinks. He only has a few then stops, (unless he goes without me) unlike early on when we first got together before Ophion was in the picture. As long as I come I can gauge how much he has had and make him stop when I think he has had enough and start feeding him soda and water to sober him up before he has to drive us home.
They are halfway through game number 2 they have one more game after this then we will head home assure Opal that I love her and I’m sorry for leaving her for so long, then fall into bed and try to get as much sleep as possible in between being woken up to take Opal out to use the bathroom. As much as I love and adore her I could use a full nights sleep!! Honestly I could use a full 3 days sleep. I just feel like I am always tired. Well I think this is where I will end this.
Until next time!